School Spirit

Kid comes to the door: “Ya wanna buy chocolate for a dollar?”
No ‘Hi my name is’, no ‘I’m doing bla for school’, no warmup at all. Just ‘Buy my candy, bitch.’

OK sure I’ll play along. I’ll buy one of your shitty candybars kid. What’s this for?
“Jazz band.”
Nice. Whadya play?
“Bass.”
BASS! Hell yes! You know who Les Claypool is?
“Uh… no?”
WHAAAAAT?!
[QUEUE DAVE HARRASSING A POOR MIDDLESCHOOLER WITH PRIMUS VIDEOS FOR 15 MINUTES]