The Fish, the Barrel, the Smoking Gun

Recently I listed some furniture for sale on craigslist, including my address and the amount desired. This afternoon I got the following email:

Am still interested in the item, but the only delay i am having now is your mailing address so that i can be able to mail out the payment to you, please kindly get back to me with the following information such as….

Full Name
The Mailing Address including your Zip code
Your cell Phone number as well.
Last Asking Price:

Please kindly get back to me as soon as possible so i will be able to forward the information to my secretary so the payment can be mail out to you.

I will be looking to read from you quickly.

Best regard

My response:

Haha sure why not.

Gristle McThornbody
2600 Marble Ave NE
Albuquerque, NM, USA
87106
No cell.
$500

I suspected that would be the end of it, until:

Your real name is

David Taggart

Delighted, I responded:

NO! Gosh, I always thought I was adopted! How did you know?!?

They weren’t so amused:

You will die i will stangel you with your mothers intestines fuck you

But I’m not letting them get away so easily.

YOU KNOW MY MOTHER?! This is the better news than I could’ve ever hoped for!

Is she pretty? Does she miss me? Does she need furniture too??

Stay tuned boys and girls on this developing family reunion!